Confidence vs. Conceit

Confidence is believing in yourself and what you do. Conceit is an exaggerated confidence that usually comes from an individual believing that they are more important or possess more value than another individual. It’s the thought of “Do you know who I am?”

In leadership this differentiation is important to understand. Leaders must have confidence in themselves and portray that confidence in their actions, but that confidence can not turn to conceit.

A confident leader respects the opinions and ideas of their counterparts; they know who they are and what they believe in, but are adaptable to change if necessary for the betterment of the group. A conceited leader is closed-minded and simply believes that their word and ideas are the only way; they are extremely resistant to change even if it is for the benefit of the group. Confident leaders earn respect through reciprocated respect. A conceited leader believes that they are automatically owed respect because of their status.

Confident leadership is powerful. Conceited leadership is also powerful, but typically in a negative way. Lead with confidence, not conceit!

“PMA”

I read or listen to something informational every day. Through books, blogs, and podcasts I have certainly learned a great deal about the power of the human mind.  Nothing I’ve ever read or heard, however, trumps the first-hand experience I got in seeing the way my grandfather attacked each day. He was known for acronyms, but “PMA” is the one that will forever stick with me, and in honor of his 77th birthday, I’m going to list 7 things that make up “PMA” or positive mental attitude.

1.) Perspective: When we seek all the great things in our lives, we usually find them and attract them. Look for the good today!

2.) Gratitude: Being thankful for the opportunities, people, and small things that surround us. Tell someone you are thankful for them today.

3.) Mindful Complaints: I get it, we all have things we wish could be different or are less than ideal. Instead of mindlessly complaining about a problem today, come up with a solution to make it better.

4.) Response to Adversity: We all face difficult situations in our lives, how we respond to the circumstances in which we face goes a long way in shaping who we are. Remember in any situation you face today, you control how you respond.

5.) Humor: Life is too short to be serious ALL the time. I am still constantly working on this myself, but don’t be afraid to share a laugh or a joke with somebody.

6.) Accepting Challenges: The only way we grow is by doing things that challenge us. Don’t be afraid to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable today. Simply accepting the challenge is often the toughest part!

7.) Word Choice: Speak in terms of opportunity today, rather than obligation.

Happy Birthday, MT, I am thinking about you!

Re-Thinking “Experience”

What exactly is experience? Just because an individual is  20 years older than someone does that make them wiser? Is a coach with 30 years of experience wiser than someone with 5 years? Not necessarily. Does the number of years you have been doing something potentially give you an advantage? Yes; but only if you have grown from the experiences in which you have had.

The wisest individuals I know aren’t always the most “experienced”, they are the people who know who they are and are supremely confident in what they do, BUT are always open to growth. They’ve learned through their experiences. They’re typically the ones always asking the questions, rather than giving all the answers. They are the ones who are trying to figure out what they don’t know, rather than continually discussing how much they already do know.

No matter how old you are, how long you have been doing something, there is ALWAYS opportunity to gain more wisdom. Experience comes from your personal growth along the journey, not the “time you have put in” or the number of years you have been doing something.

Have a great Monday!

Perception is Reality

I was talking to a friend last night who recently began reading Leave Better Than Found.

His biggest takeaway point thus far was “Your perception is your reality, speak in terms of the person you want to be. If you talk and act the same you will stay the same.”

If you aren’t currently where you want to be in your life, start by changing the way you think and the way in which you speak.

I am not guaranteeing by only changing your perception or adjusting your language you will automatically become great, but I do guarantee that until you change your perception and become intentional with your words, you will stay right where you are at. Once you believe that you are the driver of your life, not your external circumstances, you break down the walls that have previously enclosed your greatest potential.

 

 

“MT”

On January 23rd, 2016 I found out about the passing of my grandfather. A man who was more than just my grandfather, but a friend, and someone who I could always count on; his passing was one of the most difficult days of my young life. During the time we had together he left an impression on me, and taught me things I will never forget. I thought I would share a few of them with you.

“MT” which stands for Martin Thomas, was what I referred to my grandfather as. He was an extremely sharp man. Although 76 years old at the time when he passed away, I would consider him a man who was wise beyond his years. He was one of those people who seemingly just “got it”. He knew what was important in life, and very rarely did you see him down and out. During his leg amputations he coined the mindset in which he tried to lead his life by as “PMA” or positive mental attitude. I think we all think of positive as a word that means happy-go-lucky all the time. In all actuality, positive mental attitude isn’t the absence of adversity in our lives, it’s our response to it. MT was the model of how to respond to adversity and keep perspective during stressful times. He always chose to be upbeat, optimistic, and look for the best in every situation.

Lesson: No matter what your day brings, you always have a choice in how you respond to your circumstances!

“Love ya man.” It’s a phrase that will stick with me forever. Why? It was the last words that I remember my grandfather saying to me as him and my grandmother dropped me off at the airport after our road trip to Arizona this past October. I’ll never forget the words he said to me that day, but more importantly I’ll never forget the way he made me and everyone else feel when we were in his presence. “MT” had a special way about him that spread to everyone else. Some people automatically liberate you with their presence, MT was one of them. Whether it was a joke he told, his unforgettable smile, or hysterical laugh- his energy was contagious. It lifted your spirits and automatically made you smile.

Lesson: Laugh as much as you can, smile, and wake up each day with unwavering enthusiasm. 

MT was known for sharing stories, most specifically small-world stories. He certainly did his fair share of talking, but when you spoke, he listened. Then he usually followed it up with multiple questions- he truly cared about your life and everything that was going on in it. He loved other people with all of his heart and was genuinely interested in building authentic relationships. You knew you mattered and were important when you talked to him.

Lesson: Each of us can tap into the power of connecting and building authentic relationships by engaging in genuine conversation with the other person!

As hundreds and hundreds lined the doors during his visitation and service, I’m at peace knowing that my grandfather played a pivotal role and made an impact in the life of so many others.

“We may not change the world in its entirety, but we each have the power to entirely change our world and impact the lives of those in it.”

MT, you sure did that. You left a legacy. Smile, tell a joke, and rest easy knowing that you truly left this world better than you found it. I love ya, man!